For all the misandry-wrapped-up-as-feminism and other (often gimmicky) drivel barfed down timelines and news feeds everywhere for International Women’s Day, here’s some contemplative sh!t from my own (albeit medically intoxicated) mind:

Please don’t force feminine self-assertion down my (and presumably other people’s) throat(s); it’s not feminism, it’s insecurity — and it isn’t mine. Regardless of your gender, be who you are, own what you do and take full responsibility for both. Get laid, not screwed over. Own up to and accept consequences for your actions.

Happy Another-Day-In-Everyone’s-Life, b!tches. Don’t print it against a backdrop of a stock photograph you never paid for, just get on with it, already.