(This post follows on from ‘Ready for goodbye?’ posted 04 June 2012)
Calvin had a horrible night last night. It was clear she was in pain, and stressed, and in her desperation she sprayed on the rug. Other than cuddle there was not much she seemed to want to do. Then she kept me up all night, retching and vomiting. This morning she finally fell into a deep sleep and I hoped that might perk her up (it normally would).
When she woke she wasn’t quite herself and started pawing herself again (a sign of pain). Her brother Quentin invited her for a play-fight to which she responded with aggression. It was clear she wasn’t well, but we had an appointment at the vet’s this afternoon anyway and I figured we’d get adjusted (pain) medication for her which would make her comfortable for a few more weeks.
The vet detected Calv’s heart now had a murmur, and was weakening under the strain of the pain and stress she was enduring. And although I didn’t feel quite ready to say goodbye to her, I realised that for all the moments of cuddles, naps and purs I still enjoyed with her, Calv was slowly paying a price. She didn’t deserve this. So the vet and I decided there and then to let Calvin go today.
It feels too soon. Too soon for me, for sure. Too soon for her?
Possibly. But she’s at peace and without pain now.
Her spirit left her as I held her. A little while later, through my tears, I had a vision of Calv climbing into my late dog Sammy‘s basket and cuddling up against him like she used to do when she was still a tiny kitten. At my request, the veterinary surgery arranged for Calvin’s physical remains to be donated to a university where tomorrow’s vets are trained. Updated: Calvin’s remains were cremated.
Click here if you would like to contribute to Calvin’s vet bills.
Spems2.0 (@Spems2punt0)
/ June 6, 2012Oh dear Jo… I’m so very sorry :-((( Poor Calvin! Even you know it’s the best decision you could make for her, it nonetheless is really hard and painfull. I know how you feel and send you all warm hugs, hoping it will give you some comfort (if even possible).
Damn, this makes me sad! 😦 Hou je haaks lieverd!! Zal aan je denken!! xxx Emma
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Kirsty Lemmers
/ June 7, 2012heftig sissie, dikke knuf van hier x x x
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Jasper Kips (@Inekris)
/ June 7, 2012Oh, I am so sorry. *Hugz*
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Jo
/ June 7, 2012The little bottle contains some of Quentin’s late sister Calvin’s fur. Q held the bottle, washed it, cuddled it, sighed. Then he left the bottle in my lap, got up and settled next to me. Am I reading way too much into it or did I watch Q say farewell to his sis?
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Iva
/ June 8, 2012While the very last thing in this blog post scares me a bit, everything else would get a tear in about every single person’s eyes. Rest in peace, pussy cat Calvin.
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